A Call for Men of Compassion

I still read the adventures of Prince Valiant every Sunday.

When I was a young boy my favorite book was “King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.”  This was a small book, small enough to fit in your pocket and it contained great stories, and engraved pictures about that age of chivalry and adventure.  I was swept up in the mythology of the book and spent considerable time reading and re-reading the book to the point that the small book was becoming “dog eared” and falling apart.  My mother understood how important the book was to me and she took it to a bindery and had the book repaired and an new cover attached with the title embossed in gold. I still have this little volume in my library and I’m looking forward to the day when I can share the stories with my grandchildren.

I couldn’t get enough of this mythology, watching every movie, reading comic books (remember Illustrated Classics?) and even put together plastic models of knights.  To this day I still read “Prince Valiant” comic strips every Sunday morning on my iPad.

The stories of King Arthur and his Knights represented values that I learned, later in life, to hold dear.  These myths defined a world that was intentional, powerful and worth fighting for. These stories about Arthur, Lancelot and Guinevere while they were fables still communicated truths that are still relevant today. I knew even as a young boy that the stories weren’t true but I still believed in their moral and I was able to use that understanding to help guide my journey to manhood.

Over the course of the past three years I’ve become aware of a different mythology, a political mythology that isn’t honest, isn’t true and certainly doesn’t espouse moral values.  I own, upfront, my bias in this matter and I find it difficult to identify myths about Liberals.  However, this supports my claim that today what is presented as political truth is in fact nothing more than mythology used to manipulate people into supporting specific politicians or more precisely denouncing the opposition.  I ask that you suspend your immediate reaction to what is presented here and see if through an open mind we might be able to achieve something, together.  I’ll use the mythology applied by the Left to denigrate the Right as a way to illustrate my point.  Please respond with the myths that the Right promote about the Left!

“Paul Ryan and the Republicans want to deprive healthcare for the elderly.”

“The Republican are waging a war on women.”

“The rich don’t pay their fair share of the taxes.”

“People on the Right only care about making money and don’t care about the common man.”

“Conservatives are anti-immigrant.”

“Conservatives hate homosexuals.”

I could fill the rest of this blog with an educated repudiation of each of these myths.  Not a single one of them is true for me or anyone I know who believes in conservative values.  Instead I’m inviting you to participate in a discussion about the core mythology:

“Liberals are compassionate while Conservatives are not.”

There isn’t an issue in our society that can’t be distilled to this fundamental myth.  Regardless of the facts or the costs a Liberal will always believe that their polices are superior because they are certain that they care and we don’t.  For example, take the recent support for gay marriage by President Obama.

A Liberal colleague at work asked what I thought about the President’s recent support for gay marriage and I voiced my objection to changing the meaning of marriage to include same-sex couples.  His response as he walked away, “So you want us all to be miserable.”  Wow, he didn’t ask for an explanation for my beliefs and I didn’t say anything about how I feel about homosexuality; he just made the intellectual leap, driven by his emotions, that if I don’t agree with him then I’m an uncaring, hater of gays.

He is an enlightened and compassionate person while I’m a neanderthal.

How can we deal with any of the challenges that confront this nation if we won’t listen to each other.  In the situation mentioned above I wanted to have my colleague explain his position, I wanted to learn how he would draw the moral line; what was the moral authority for re-defining marriage?  Can brothers and sisters marry?  Is polygamy acceptable?  Can a father marry his daughter?  If we’re going to define marriage in a way that has never been done before then what’s the basis, what’s the authority for the new definition?

The Liberal “compassion myth” wouldn’t allow the man from engaging in a meaningful dialog about the definition of marriage.  He didn’t want to hear that I have the upmost respect for my gay colleagues.  He doesn’t want to learn about the close personal friends I have with men who happen to be homosexuals.  He doesn’t want to hear that I want equal rights for all citizens regardless of race, color, creed or sexual orientation.  He doesn’t want to hear the basis for my belief that marriage isn’t a right protected by the Constitution, it’s an institution.

The Liberal walks away and the ideological gulf widens and with the help of the newspapers and TV we end up with more division, more animosity, less understanding and no solutions.

I’m sick and tired of these spit wad fights ( See my earlier blog entry on this subject, http://wp.me/p1MpDw-n) while “Rome Burns!”  My challenge to all that read these words, especially the men, STAND UP FOR CLARITY.  Exercise true compassion and put yourself in the shoes of the other person. Make every attempt to understand their point of view and how they are directly affected.  Then clearly articulate your position and the basis for your beliefs.  Lose the sound bites and dive into the deep water of understanding.  I’m not asking that you agree, I’m asking that you put down the shield of self-righteousness and listen, to have ears to hear and eyes to see.  For me this is a moral issue that men must step up and be the leaders for creating a safe and positive environment for the exchange of ideas. We as men need to get past the propaganda and the myths we hold dear and clearly define the problems so that we can arrive at sensible and well thought out solutions.

As an architectural student back in the late 60’s I learned that defining the problem clearly, usually resulted in the solution becoming known quickly.  We had to “chew” on the subject for awhile in order to gain clarity but once there, the solution would appear naturally.  We as a nation need to start defining the problems more clearly in order for us to create a more perfect Union.

The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (Omamacare) is a perfect example of how the problem, the question has NOT been clearly defined.  The result is a two thousand page law that no one read and no one can fully understand and that doesn’t actually reduce the cost of healthcare.  If we define the problem as, “We want to reduce the cost of healthcare, maintain and improve that care and make the care available and affordable to all citizens” then we’ll have a dialog that will result in a very different outcome.  We’ll be able to explore what, if anything the Federal Government needs to do (ability to sell insurance across State lines for instance) and what programs and laws can assist in achieving the stated goals at the local and State levels of government.  If we define the problem as ”How can the political class control the lives of the citizens,” then we get Obamacare.  Instead we enflame the situation through our mythologies about the Left being compassionate and the Right wanting to push granny off the cliff.

My humble request is that you join me in the dialog about fatherhood, manhood, the economy, the definition of marriage, or any other social issue.  Respond with your beliefs not your judgments.  Respond with insight and reason about the basis and the authority for your position.

Let’s not hide behind false compassion, let’s stand up for clarity and understanding and be authentically compassionate.  Let’s stop trusting our lives to career politicians and media pundits and reclaim the leadership of this great country.  Join me in picking up the sword of truth and the shield of faith to become the new knights for clarity!

The Second Emancipation

“America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.” Abraham Lincoln

English: Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth Presid...

Image via Wikipedia

Over the course of the past year I’ve written several articles related to what it means to be a father, to be a man.  I’ve explored the influences on our character, the need for mentorship and blessings and that we have a responsibility to step up and lead our families.  Well, the time is now for authentic men and women to rise up and reclaim America, or risk losing our liberty, forever. Our liberty and freedom are under assault, not by force of arms although that may follow if the tide isn’t turned; but instead by legislation, regulations and the systematic erosion of morality and values.

The daily headlines tell the story:

  • The Obama Administrations’ attack on the conscience clause and the Constitution by requiring religious based organizations to offer contraceptive and reproductive treatment and services within their healthcare insurance programs.
  • Planned Parenthood’s blackmailing of the Susan G. Komen For The Cure Foundation because the Foundation initially dropped Planned Parenthood from their grant list.
  • The holiest of holy Liberal values, class warfare.

And these are only the attacks that have surfaced this past week!  Throw in mandated healthcare, the “Dream Act” for illegal aliens and the 9th District’s determination that California’s ban on same sex marriage is un-Constitutional and the path to tyranny and the lose of our liberty becomes clear.  You know when a Supreme Court Justice tells other countries to ignore the U.S. Constitution as a model we are in deep trouble.

I find it difficult to understand how educated, intelligent and creative people can support the entitlement policies of the Obama administration that have led to increased dependency on the Federal government in a way that enslaves over half our citizens.  I’ve stood shoulder to shoulder with men teaching other men how to take responsibility for their lives, to be authentic, and to live purpose driven lives of integrity yet many of these same men strongly support Obama, even though his policies rob the citizens of their responsibility and freedom!  It’s my opinion that it’s hypocritical to help a person embrace responsibility for their life and actions and then tell them what light bulb they must use; what car they must drive; what health insurance they must purchase; or their religious beliefs are irrelevant when it comes to reproductive control.

Is it right and fair for the Federal Government to demand that health care policies provide for contraceptives and other reproductive services, including abortions,even though these services conflict with my religious views?  Under what authority does the Federal Government have the right to require me to purchased anything?  Do you see how dangerous this policy is?  Once the Government has this power where does that power end?

As I write this, Obama is trying to back off the point by saying that if you are a faith-based organization you will be exempted from the requirement!  What the…?  What about my faith, my beliefs?  The government does not have the right to prescribe this coverage in the first place so exemptions are not necessary because the requirement is unconstitutional!

Obama and his supporters foment “Class Warfare” by proclaiming immoral the extreme disparity between the rich and the poor.  The Liberals use this disparity to argue for more funds to spend on more programs to assist the least among us.  And regardless of the billions spent on welfare we still have people in this country that are poor and have less than others.  The issue isn’t that one percent have the majority of the wealth and therefore the 99% are poor?  The true issue is that we are not teaching our brothers and sisters how to take care of their lives, how to cultivate their God-given gifts to support themselves and their families.

The people who support big government programs will scream, “Where’s your compassion?”  And I say government hand outs are not compassionate.  If you are concerned about someone and their plight then step up and go help them. Gather like minded friends and make a true difference in that persons life as well as your own.  If you think wealth should be equalized then find a group of people who have less than you, combine your resources and divide them equally.  Be accountable.

Taking from the rich and giving to the less fortunate is immoral!  Creating entitlement systems and programs that enslave the less fortunate is immoral!  Empowering the Federal Government to control our lives is immoral!

Government programs have not and will not improve the lives of the citizens.  Prosperity, freedom, liberty and mentoring will.

Government programs have enslaved 50% of the population.  Continuing to support the growth of government will enslave us all!

In 1863, at a pivotal point in our Nation’s history, President Lincoln issued the “Emancipation Proclamation” setting in motion the events that would eventually lead to freeing of slaves in America.  We are once more faced with a challenge that requires no less than a Second Emancipation Proclamation – an emancipation from the tyranny of an overreaching government!

The Second Emancipation will occur the minute we stop looking to the government to effect change in the lives of people and step up and take action ourselves!  The moment we take responsibility for the quality of life within the society then we will be back on the Founder’s road to liberty and freedom!  Imagine the good that could be achieved if you, personally, reached out a helping hand to someone less fortunate, as opposed to a government hand out.

Let the emancipation begin.  Drive out the big government, entitlement obsessed career politicians, of either party; Dismantle all departments and agencies that are not supported by the Constitution; Replace the current progressive tax system with one that is fair for all; and Restore fiscal responsibility.

Let’s celebrate and empower each other!  Let’s stand up for FREEDOM!

 “I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”

Dr. Martin Luther King

WE THE PEOPLE of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Post 24: Fatherhood Part 2

The young man, a talented amateur golfer, was melting down in the biggest tournament of his young career.  This was his big chance and he was in control of his own destiny on the 18th tee – close out this hole, win the tournament and he would be playing in his first professional event in a couple of weeks.  Instead he makes bad decision after bad decision and finished the tournament well down the leader board after just one tumultuous hole of golf, his dream destroyed and his father, his caddy, walking away in disgust!

This scene is from the movie “Seven Days in Utopia” currently in theaters around the country and I highly recommend that you go see this film (http://www.sevendaysinutopia.com).  There’s no sex and no violence, instead what you’ll experience is an excellent study in contrasts about fathering.

The father of the young golfer had merged his own unachieved desires to play golf with his role as father to shape his son, starting at a very young age into a champion golfer.  He pushed the young boy, forced him to practice, honed the kid’s skills to the point where the young man was ready to take the next step, to turn pro.  However, was the young man ready for the pressure?  Apparently not.

The movie chronicles the next seven days of the young man’s life after losing the tournament and how he ends up finding, unintentionally, a man who becomes his unorthodox mentor.  The movie illustrates the power of a father figure, a mentor that considers the whole person, the physical, the emotional and spiritual components of this young man.  The story demonstrates how essential it is for fathers to address the complete child not just his special skill.  As the seven days unfold the young man is challenged to become a complete person and it ends with him…well, you’ll just have to see the movie to find out the rest of the story.

This movie effectively illustrates the essential elements of fatherhood:  Time, challenges, blessing and faith.

Time

I don’t doubt that the young man’s father loved him and wanted the best for him, the father didn’t know any better.  Especially about nurturing the whole child.  He should be commended for dedicating his time to the growth of his son, he should be acknowledged for identifying his son’s athletic gift.  As I pointed out in my previous post on Fatherhood so many boys don’t have a father like this who dedicates large chunks of his time to their sons.

The father in the movie recognized that his son had a gift and dedicated his life to nurturing that gift and this is something all parents need to be aware of.  What’s the gift in your child? In the book, The Soul’s Code: In Search of Character and Calling, James Hillman presents the acorn theory, the idea that each of us is blessed with a gift that needs to be identified and nurtured by our parents.  The father of the young golfer found that gift in his son and he worked hard to make sure that the boy grew to achieve success with that gift, regardless of the consequences.  The father didn’t know any better, he was broken and didn’t know his gift, he didn’t know who he really was.  So how could he truly understand that his greatest gift to his son was the time spent together?

My father was fanatical about baseball, especially professional baseball.  His favorite bar in San Diego was the Baseball Inn, an establishment where other fans and some marginal pro ball players would hang out.  My father became friends with many of the ball players and managers of the local minor league team (This was before the Padres became a major league team).  He was always giving me the best equipment, bats, gloves, shoes and balls, that he would get from his good friend at the Padres.  I’m certain that one of his greatest disappointments in life and in me was that I never became even a moderately good baseball player even when I had the very best equipment.

I was a very good football player, an above average basketball player and decent at track, but baseball just wasn’t my strong suite and I never made any teams that I tried out for.  You see my father had the desire, he had the connections, he just didn’t have the time.  The time to teach me how to play the game, how to use all that marvelous equipment.  I felt sadness as I watched “Seven Days in Utopia,” because I still feel the pain of not having a father to teach me how to play baseball, how to be a man!

Challenge

When the young golfer melts down on the last hole of the tournament and his father walks out on him I’m sure the young man judged himself a failure.  Was he? Or was this what was needed for him to find himself?  This is the stuff of fables, the golden boy being brought to his knees before he connects with his truth and climbs his way back to wholeness.  Iron John and the Fisher King come to mind.

Can we truly know and appreciate the good days, the triumphs, if we never have to wade through the ashes of our lives and struggle to find ourselves?  This movie holds an important message for our culture of “fairness” and “everyone” is a victor.  We teach our children, whether in school or on the play field that everyone’s a winner and everyone gets a gold star or a trophy.  That performance doesn’t matter, it only matters that you feel good about yourself.

We have a primal need to achieve victory, born our of our need to survive.  Certainly most of us don’t have the primitive need to conquer our rivals but does it advance the species or the culture to say that everyone is a winner?  How do we find the limits of our potential if we don’t risk failure?  “Seven Days in Utopia” paints a challenging portrait of the effort needed to hit bottom and then find the path back to yourself, your full self.  The journey was painful and difficult but the result was a better person.

Blessing

This is a concept I judge is greatly misunderstood in our culture.  It isn’t the medals and trophies one gets that blesses us.  A blessing is given freely from the heart of the “teacher” to the “student;” from the mentor to the seeker.  It’s an acknowledgment from an “elder,” not necessarily someone older but wiser, that you have been seen, you are loved and you have a place in the tribe, in the family, in the culture.

Check out another movie, “Nobody’s Fool,” starring the late Paul Newman.  This is a story of redemption between a father, played by Paul Newman, his son and his grandson.  The son comes home in his own time of despair to make a connection with his father.  And as the father and son struggle, the character played by Paul Newman starts a relationship with his grandson, a boy of about eight.

In a scene near the end of the film Paul wins the prosthetic leg from the town lawyer in a game of strip poker (Warning there is some nudity during this part of the film).  After the game is over you see Paul sitting at the bar with the prosthesis next to him on the bar and the one-legged attorney is at the other end of the bar.  The boy is standing next to Paul mesmerized by the fake leg, actually he seems a little afraid.  Paul picks up the prosthesis and asks his grandson to takes it to the attorney at the end of the bar.  At first the young boy refuses but finally the wonder overcomes the fear and he takes hold of it in both hands.  Paul gently turns the boy to face the attorney and asks him to return it to the old man.  It takes a couple of prompts from grandpa before the boy slowly moves down the bar to the one-legged old man.  When he gets their the old man takes the prosthesis with one hand and places his other hand on the boy’s shoulder.  He bends down and softly thanks the boys and tells him that he is a very good boy, he’s proud of him!  When the boys turns around, back towards his grandfather, the look of joy and accomplishment on his young face is priceless.  He faced his fear and was blessed!

Faith

In “Seven Days in Utopia,” Johnny, the unorthodox instructor doesn’t focus his attention just on the golf skills of the young golfer, Luke.  Instead Johnny challenges Luke to take a look at who he is, why he’s here on Earth and his relationship with God, or in this case his lack of a relationship.  The issue of faith become a pivotal point in the maturation of Luke as he realizes that there was more to life than just a low score on the card.

Like Luke I had to learn this the hard way but when I did my life changed in a powerful way.  Once I accepted God, as my Abba Father, I was able to release the residual longing for my earthly father and surrender my life to the One who would never forsake me, the most freeing experience in my life.  I discovered that surrender didn’t mean defeat  and in the case of God it means I’m no longer alone and I’m always loved.

Through faith we can integrate the mind, body and soul to complete the package, to become, as Dallas Willard says, “the person God had always intended us to become.”

I encourage you to go see this movie and while you watch and after ask yourself what’s working and what’s not working in your life?  Who are you and what is your impact on the world, especially the people closest to you? If  you’re a parent, if you’re a father what are you doing to spend more time with your children; what are you doing to challenge them to be all they can be; are you blessing your children, showing them how deeply they are loved; and are you creating opportunities for them to experience and come to know God?

Grant Cardone’s “The 10X Rule”

“It is your duty to provide for your family. It is not an option!” Grant Cardone

During these times when so many people feel that the government owes them a certain standard of living it is refreshing to come across such a clear and powerful voice for personal responsibility, integrity and accountability as is heard in the pages of Grant Cardone’s latest book, “The 10X Rule.”

Grant’s message that it is our moral and ethical responsibility to succeed leaps off the page and penetrates the heart, convicting the reader about his or her own inaction and abdication of responsibility.  It is this powerful challenge that sets this “sales or business success” book apart from all other motivational essays.  Grant dives beneath the typical “how to” formulas of other authors and attacks the heart of the problem for must people who feel as if they are stuck in mediocrity – he challenges the commitment of the reader to his or her own success!

What is also refreshing is that “The 10X Rule” is equally relevant to all aspects of our lives, not just financial success.  If you have the talent to be a musician then Grant challenges you to take “massive action” to use that talent as God intended.  No more complaints, excuses or whining, “No Negativity!”  Success is a responsibility and if you are not committed to that success then you have no standing to complain about your situation.

Anyone reading “The 10X Rule” is encouraged to look beyond the “business success” applications and look into their own resistance to achieving personal success, in any area of their lives.  What keeps you locked in a constant state of “less than?”  What excuses are you making for not achieving success?  Who are you blaming and why?  What prevents you from making the commitment to yourself and your family to take “Massive Action” to achieve success?  This is the genius of this book and the wisdom offered by Grant Cardone.

Most motivational books are all rah rah and light on what is really necessary to achieve success.  “The 10X Rule” presented by Grant provides the reader a simple and straightforward outline for achieving success in any given field.  If you follow Grant’s plan you cannot fail because it isn’t a formulae it’s a interpersonal transformation.  Most motivational authors deal with the outward aspects of success, Grant cuts to the heart of the matter, the commitment of the individual!  Grant pulls back the cultural curtain of motivation and sales training to expose the underlying interpersonal forces that keep most locked in their middle class, average lives.  This insight provides any person who truly understands the plan laid out by Grant to have an authentic chance to succeed – Because the answer isn’t in the book, it’s in your heart and soul!

If you have that nagging feeling that something is missing in your life, or if you need a kick in the pants to get you on the road to success then pick up “The 10X Rule” and make a commitment to yourself, to accept Grant’s challenge that success is your ethical responsibility.